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Katie's Journey
Katie* is a Care Experienced member of
the Futures Group Joint Fostering Panel.
She met with one of our marketing team members on a Zoom call
and chatted about her experiences of living in foster care,
the incredibly resourceful young person she was
and the route she took into adulthood.
Please can you tell us a bit about yourself?
"I am currently in my early 30s. I was in care from the age of about 12, but I was in care for 2 bouts. The first time I went into care I was about 12 and I was placed initially into residential care, following difficult family circumstances. I was in residential care for a few weeks and then I eventually moved in with a foster carer for a few months and then I went back to my family home. However, the kind of work that perhaps could have been done to prepare for as seamless a transition as possible didn’t [take place] and that contributed to me going back into care a little over 6 months after, and that’s where I remained until I left care at age 18. When I left care I went into semi-independent [accommodation] and then I had my own place when I was about 18/19."
When she left care, Katie went to college and then on to university, initially living in semi-independent accommodation while studying for her A-Levels. Around the time of her taking A-Level exams, she was given a permanent home of her own, and managed that move alongside university applications.
"I’m from London, but I left London for university because of the care-leaver package of support that this university had; that was really supportive. Ideally, I wouldn’t have left London, but in the end, I’m happy I did.
That’s a lot for a young person to be navigating anyway isn’t it, let alone having the huge step of having your own place at that age as well.
"Yeah, definitely, and when I first got the place I was really excited to decorate. At the time the leaving care budget that you got was about £1500 but you soon realise that £1500 doesn’t go that far when you're buying white goods and the necessities, so eventually I got to the point where I thought; “let me just take my time and have the house as I want it, as opposed to rushing”, but I think the leaving care budget has increased since then, thankfully!"
It sounds like you had quite a sensible old head on young shoulders.
"I guess so, but I think that’s also because I had to grow up really fast. And what’s always been really important to me is not necessarily letting my situation and my circumstances define me; just because I’ve come from care, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I can’t do well for myself. That was always really important to me. Around that time was when I initially got involved with Foster Panels and so even from a professional / career perspective, it was also a time when I was around people who were really inspiring and influencing me – a lot of the time."
And it sounds like that was a natural progression, that you managed to surround yourself with the right people?
"Yeah, I’d say that’s really important, I’ve always been quite fortunate in that aspect, the people that are around me."
And to take on the Panel side of things as well.
"Yeah, and again, I don’t think I quite appreciated the scope and the responsibility of it all, I was just there to share my experiences and over years that’s even changed; how I see my role in Panel has changed."
I can understand that, because your perspective on life does change, doesn’t it and I suppose you’re looking at it from all different perspectives aren’t you?
"Your perspective changes as you get older…"
You may not have even noticed, but it’s been a progression that’s gone on as you’ve spent more time on Panels and in the role that you do as a job. Certainly, with work, it changes your perspective as well, I should imagine.
"Yeah, it does, and it think where I’m at in life, I’m more aware of that progressive change, in terms of reflection."
"I did an undergraduate degree in English and History during which I’d been running away from doing anything Social Work related; everyone would ask me “why don’t you go into social work” and I’d be thinking “you just say that because I’m care experienced”, but then eventually I did go into social work – I started off working in Adult Mental Health services and later I went on to work with Children and Families and I really enjoyed it. I always said that frontline wasn’t something that I wanted to do, but then it was one of the appeals to the whole world of social work for me; the flexibility and how vast it is and where you can go with it and even that also changed a lot for me."
"Seeing social work from the perspective of someone who was in receipt as well as someone who delivered it."
It helps you to form a very rounded and empathetic approach.
And as someone who has lived it first hand. The role of the social worker can be a highly stressful role anyway, but I think as someone who’s lived it, you have to be even more mindful of things like your susceptibility to burn-out."
Katie talked about her role on a number of different Panels, which she approaches from the point of view of her time as a young person in foster care as opposed to her professional background in Social Work; she feels that the most relevant experience she can bring is as someone with care experience, but the way she sees her role as a Panel member has changed over time.
"...success doesn’t necessarily mean going to university, having an office job, going that 'traditional' route, I think success is however you define it to yourself; working hard at that and then excelling in that."
Thinking about post-care; it sounds like you’ve made it incredibly positive for yourself, from your determination to succeed, and to get where you want to be regardless of anything that may have gone on before, do you think that your experiences of being in foster care helped you to be that way or do you think that you did it in spite of your experience in care?
"I think I did it in spite of… because I would say that, especially in terms of my second long term placement, I was living a foster home and I was that foster carer’s first ever foster child.
And seeing how her family was set up was eye-opening for me because from an observer perspective, I saw how a ‘normal, functional’ family operates. That was a positive take-away for me, but similarly, I never felt ‘in’ that family. I was always quite acutely aware that “I am a foster child, this is a temporary set up” - in that particular instance – and it was an ‘ok’ experience overall. I wouldn’t say it was amazingly positive, but because of how her family were and she had adult children, she had raised them to be quite ‘successful’, I was able to get nuggets and inspiration from them in that aspect."
As role models for you? Or do you think you saw how successful they were and how she was with them?
"I think it was more that and I would say I’m someone who has always been quite observant, I’ve not necessarily always done much with those observations(!), but I think that’s more so what that gave me, because – and this is something I would really want to say to any children who are in foster care – success doesn’t necessarily mean going to university, having an office job, going that 'traditional' route, I think success is however you define it to yourself; working hard at that and then excelling in that. Whereas when I was younger, success was quite prescriptive, but that’s not to say that if I could go back I would change it, I wouldn’t, because I’m really happy with what I went on to achieve, however, I’m now in a place in my life where I’m looking at what success looks like to me and also redefining that, but this is another phase in my life."
I think that there is a lot of pressure in school to do well in your exams, go to university or get a job, but it’s not just about getting a 'job', it’s about doing something that you enjoy, and you can take forward. And the pressure in that exam year is quite intense, but ideally, they’ll naturally find something that they enjoy and go down that route, whether that’s a traditional type of job, or whatever; and even if that route is university, that’s a stepping stone on the way.
"I completely agree. When I was younger – and I think things have changed – but the stats around care experienced people were around overrepresentation in the prison population, underrepresentation in universities, so they were all dire statistics that spoke to what society saw as being ‘successful’ versus what wasn’t.
We are in a place where I think that whatever success looks like, that’s widening, and I think that’s good. As adults and as corporate parents ourselves, we need to bring that message home to the young people as well."
You’re absolutely right and I think that the statistics of care experienced people being the ones who are going to prison and being the ones who are part of the negative statistics; there has been a lot to counteract that over the past few years, in terms of support for young people to take that step outside care and when they are moving on there is a bit more help; there is still that support through university for example, although there is still a lot of work to be done, it’s a lot more positive now.
"When I was in care, you had to fight for a lot of the things that are across the board now, for instance, having care past 18; if you are in full time education, that was a bit of a fight, having support for post-graduate education. Maybe at the time, there wasn’t enough representation of it for it to be just rolled out, so it’s great to see that there is that support in place, not just for university also for apprenticeships and T-Levels and so on."
There’s more opportunity now, especially apprenticeships, which I think are an amazing idea – we’ve had apprentices here, and giving young people that experience and helping them on the ladder is great - because when you’re young, just getting experience is a massive challenge.
"I agree and I think it’s really important to get that work experience as young as possible because then it introduces you to the world of work, maintaining professional relationships, what that looks like, and it gives you a level of responsibility and - for care experienced people at least – outside of one that is forced onto you, I think it’s really important and it gives people a sense of ownership."
"What’s always been really important to me is not necessarily letting my situation and my circumstances define me; just because I’ve come from care, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I can’t do well for myself."
When you were at university and you moved out of London, were you supported through university as well?
"Both social services and the university supported me through my time at university. I was living in halls, I was working as well and eventually in my following years after first year, I moved into other places, off-halls and I was renting with housemates and so on but I still had my home to maintain back in London."
My goodness!
"I think it’s that thing about reflection; sometimes you don’t realise the scope of what you were doing until you look back, but at the time, I just got on with it; “this is just my life for now!”.
Katie's journey through university saw her undertake a part time internship in her second year. She coupled this with part time studies, which was great for introducing her into the world of work.
Her initial plan was to go into journalism, so the internship was for a financial magazine, which she secured through a fantastic care leaver charity called Drive Forward Foundation. While on her internship, Katie realised that journalism wasn’t for her, however, the experience of networking and learning from others there was absolutely invaluable.
In Katie's final year, she was a part time student, commuting from home, because the requirement for her to attend classes was reduced and it made financial sense.
"Looking back, I now think “wow there was a lot going on!” but I was able to find other people in the university who may not have necessarily gone through care, but who also had their homes that they were maintaining, meanwhile also maintaining homes in halls up at uni. I think for me, I was very much of the whole perception of what new experience could I get from this – I’ve already experienced living by myself, in some ways I’m going to be around other people who haven’t experienced that, so this is going to be very new for them, but it was still a very new experience for me – I’d never lived in halls, I’d never home-shared with other people from different parts of the world; it was very much a new experience for me."
It sounds like it was a good experience, though.
"One hundred percent! I’m so happy I did it!"
From Katie's facial expressions at this point, I could see that she looked back with fond memories and it was clear that that was a really valuable time in her life.
"Because of that experience, and because of where I was coming from, uni being out of London I felt on an even playing field with my peers, whereas if I was back home, I was very mindful that many of my peers still lived at home with their parents, I had my own place, I had my own bills, my own responsibility, and so on. Whereas at uni, I was almost in a bubble, away from all of that."
The fact that you found other people who were in the same situation as you, with homes to maintain was incredible and it’s so nice to hear you speak about the stuff that you’ve done in such a passionate way.
"Thank you!"
Everyone’s life experience is different, and I guess you bring every aspect of that with you.
“I’m really passionate about Children and their education…. because I see that as their passport for life.”
So what are you’re doing now?
"I moved from Safeguarding a few years ago, into policy. One of my values, my value core base is education – it might be quite apparent from this conversation, but I’m really passionate about children and young people and I’m really passionate about their education, whatever that looks like, because I see that as their passport for life. I moved from direct social work, I went into policy – safeguarding policy – based in the civil service, I was there for a few years and then I moved on to work in a children and young people's charity. First time working in a charity, and it’s been really interesting. Within the last year or so, I made the move to governance. I couldn’t quite tell you how I’ve got here, but it’s been quite free flowing!"
It sounds like it – again, another natural progression!
"I still stay involved so even though I am in governance, I am based in a youth charity, I’m a school governor, I sit on school panels from both an adoption and fostering perspective, and I still work with universities on their social work courses, so I still like to keep my ear to the ground, but I got to the point where I needed to establish some space between me and frontline."
I imagine that sometimes that was quite hard, just the scope of everything that you’re dealing with.
"Yes and in social work, you’re dealing with people when they are in their most difficult circumstances, you’re sometimes dealing with people when they are in the height of crisis, whatever that looks like and that can be really hard because you’re governed by a set of rules and procedures, and rightfully so, to protect you and your professionalism, however, there may not be much that you can do for someone.
There is a plethora of reasons why it contributed to me leaving, but I always said to myself that I’d be back, I’d always said this would be temporary, but as time has gone on, I’ve gone further out, so I don’t know when I’ll return back…"
Maybe one day it will go full circle!
"Maybe one day, but I do still like to keep my ear to the ground."
Education is one of those inevitable parts of life and children always say ‘school’s boring’ but you can’t be good at everything, that would be exhausting! The problem is – and I agree with it – everybody is taught the same thing, but not everybody “gets” it. Education is one of those areas where it needs a bit of a shake-up, but children will always need support even if they are great at some subjects, there may be some that they struggle with, but giving everybody the opportunity to be able to give it a go is really important!
"I do understand that there's a standardised approach to education, but also support for those children who don’t get some of it.
We are moving in that direction, because I remember being one of those kids who would always be ‘ok’, so I might not necessarily put in the work, but I’d be ok and I remember a teacher saying to me “one day you are going to get to the point where you can’t rely on just coasting” and I’d say “whatever!” and I remember doing my GCSEs and being scared that I wouldn’t get the grades to go on to what I wanted to do after, so I went to my virtual head teacher at the time and explained “this is the case, I need a tutor for maths and English” because my attendance was really bad; I had really poor attendance and I think a lot of that was to do with everything behind the scenes.
I found school quite hard but that was more so because of behind the scenes than school itself. I managed to get an English tutor – amazing; I still talk to him now and his family! He really helped me with my grades. And then my maths tutor; the virtual head got me lessons with her husband who was an ex-maths teacher! I’d go to her house after school and do maths with him and I grew to love maths and I ended up passing, so that’s why I think it’s really important to have the support where and however possible – I was very fortunate in that situation, but I think that’s because I was vocal, not every child can be…"
It sounds like you were able to advocate for yourself, asking for what you wanted rather than relying on someone else to say, “this is what you need”.
"I was and I don’t think that should have to be the case, but things have changed since. The support really helped.
I started uni and I just didn’t ‘get’ it – it was such a culture shock for me; I didn’t understand it – I didn’t understand how to study. It was literally a blank slate for me. My words fail to communicate just how much of a disconnect there was for me between life before uni and going into uni.
I didn’t understand how to look online for what it was that I needed – I was completely confused so I went to the person who lead on Care Leavers Support; I think it’s really important to have care leaver support across the universities. I said “I’m struggling, I don’t understand this” and he got me a mentor. She turned out to be a lecturer who also had a role in the university’s pastoral support. She was my mentor from year one to my final year – she taught me how to write, she taught me how to look for things, even things like where I would have to appeal a certain grade, she would help me with that. If it wasn’t for her, I would have not got through university so having had that, I’m able to pay that forward to someone else as well and it’s really served throughout life, knowing how to structure things as opposed to just [spewing out words]. It’s really helpful having that support, tailored support is really important and accessible support as well."
It shows how young people aren’t always prepared for uni because it’s like little fledglings going off and fending for themselves – you’re at home and things are done for you, then you’re on your own. And school is so very different; you don’t write essays or reports in the same way, it’s a massive jump and it’s interesting that you were kind of “where do I start?”.
"Yeah, I was completely confused!"
Thank goodness for your mentor in that case!
"Thank goodness for her; I’m so thankful for her - I’m just really thankful for all the support I’ve had along the way and think that’s really important for children and young people who are care experienced, because sometimes our support is lacking so it’s really important to have that support, somehow."
We shared our views on how important it was for young people to know where or how to ask for the help that they need, if they don't want to ask their Foster Carer or their Social Worker.
What was your experience of your Local Authority Social Worker and your Foster Carers, were you able to talk to them about the help that you thought you might need, or did you seek it yourself in a different way?
"I think it was a combination of both – I didn’t necessarily go to either of my foster carers for help, or my what used to be called Respite carers; I never really went to them for help. I’d say my relationships with them were quite surface, especially my second carer. Because I entered care at an age where I was a bit older, the prospects of me finding another foster placement at that time were slim, so for me it was a case of getting what I can from the placement; it’s stable enough, not too far from school, so I kind of approached it in that way."
You were quite pragmatic about it, even though you were still young.
"I guess so. And I was also thinking to myself; “I’ve had so much instability; I can’t be bothered with another move. Let me just get on while I can and take what I can and do what I can”.
My Social Workers, again, it depended on who the social worker was and what kind of relationship I had with them as to whether I would ask them for help.
There used to be a Children’s Rights Officer, she was previously a social worker, and we had a fantastic relationship, so sometimes I’d speak to her about things that I’d want and I’d feel genuinely listened to, she would tell me why it couldn’t be honoured, which I found really helpful to know as well. I also think that towards me leaving care, it got to the point whereby I would just start sourcing things for myself.
Towards the end of me leaving foster care, I was faced with two options of either going into semi-independent housing, which is similar to a hostel, or going into supported lodging, which is similar to a foster placement but just more independent; you’re not getting your meals cooked and so on, you’re supposed to be budgeting your own money, you’re really just a lodger. I was faced with those two options and at the time my social worker had gone on long term sick, and he was someone that I had a really good relationship with. I was thinking “oh my god, what am I going to do? I only know I’ve got these two options, but I haven’t been to see anywhere, my 18th is fast approaching, my foster carer has made it clear that she doesn’t want me here past my 18th; I don’t know what I’m going to do when 18 comes”.
At the time, I was at college and spoke to the pastoral care team support, they asked me to speak to a local housing provider. I explained to them the situation.
Katie shared how she was unaware of what provision she was entitled to at this stage.
Eventually my social worker got better, him and I went to go and view different places together, I settled with the supported housing instead of the supported lodging, just because I felt that would give me a better leg-up for having my own place on the other side. I say it was a bit of both, but I can be very much “I’ll just do it myself”; just show me what I need and them I’m happy to get on with it!"
Even at a young age, you were already pretty resourceful!
"Yeah, I’d say – and it’s now when I look back and I think “oh my god, you were so resourceful at such a young age, what were you doing?!” because now, sometimes I’m stuck on certain things and I think “oh no, but my 19-year-old self would be absolutely fine!”. "
Do you think that if you were able to speak to your younger self you would have thought that you would be as successful and have followed the path that you have done? I think you would have said “yeah, I reckon I’d be able to do that!”?
"I think my younger self would say that, however, I’m quite surprised because when I was younger, I thought I would have gone more down the creative route I was always and am a big lover of the arts and music…"
And it sounds like creative writing was initially what you wanted to do?
"Yeah, I really loved that; that’s where my passions lie and when I was about 18, I did work experience for BBC in their radio department, so I always thought that I’d go down that route. However, I went down the traditional ‘successful’ route, whereas now I’m at a point where I almost feel like I’m revisiting me when I was younger, I’m going back to the foundation."
With what you’re doing now, the policy and the governance aspects, you’re writing the stuff that’s going out there, you’re following that path without even realising it!
"Watch this space; we’ll see; when I was going into uni, I had a radio show with mates, after that I did podcasts, so I’ve always loved having a creative string to my bow on the side, I’ve never liked life being too serious."
As a closing thought, Katie gave some advice for foster carers…
"From the outset, they need to make sure they are in it for genuine, child-focused reasons, because children are perceptive and will always sense authenticity. Being motivated by such makes the role easier, as carers can return to these motivations during times of distress or crisis to remind themselves why they wanted to foster in the first place."
To reflect on that and put into perspective?
"It would help them not to take things that children do too personally, because sometimes I find care experienced children are almost held to a higher standard and it’s difficult because often children are coming into foster care after a difficult set of circumstances – and they’re children at the end of the day, so it’s really important."
*We have changed Katie's name to protect her identity.
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